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Parent Workshop Feb. 23, 2023 Recording

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Normal Teen Angst or Mental Health Issue?

Show Transcript

freaky we'll get started in about one minute just waiting for people to filter and thank you for joining us what's an hour but trust me when you go to okay I'm going to go ahead and get started and then people can filter in hello everyone thank you for joining us if everyone can just make sure they're on you I heard a few few comments I don't want anyone to know anything embarrassing the head that would be great way to start music everyone's good limited share my screen okay so tonight the topic of the presentation is normal teenager or mental health issue I'm going to be going over a lot of different ways that if your child is experiencing some Mental Health Center and or behaviors that are not desirable I'm ways that you can help support them to get through these difficult years because I heard from a lot of a few years have been trying so I want to validate that and let's get started so if everyone could post in the chat I just like to get a little temperature check how people are doing so take a look at some of these sheeps and just write the number of how you're feeling right now the energy or kind of having a presentation I think which one represents what's the year feel like maybe it's a day I'm like at 9 which I think is a good thing but also a little nervous flying through quickly seeing some number threes yeah that was me yesterday number seven maybe a little tired totally I like the number 82 whatever energy you're bringing to the thank you for showing it really does mean a lot that you're all wanting to help your children so thank you for participating okay so first to him some of you might know me I am the psychiatric social worker at Paul Revere this is my second year at Riviera and they're all five days per week and my rolling campus is really short mental health interventions so a large part of my role is Crisis management so when a student is having those more severe mental health symptoms that's when they'll probably end up in my office weather is a risk assessment. most severe and anxiety attack those kind of immediate needs that's where I get called in and I can also as my kids were allowed work with kids I'm on a semi-regular basis you know maybe every couple of weeks checking in but I don't have the capacity to be a full-time therapist just because I'm the only DSW at Revere so if I do notice your child is having more persistent mental health issues I typically do recommend looking for outside therapy which I can help with resources and ways to do that I also do school by the intervention so I do classroom presentation call mental health I do I run the GSA the gender and sexuality Alliance I do social skills you know club and just different mental health wellness events at Revere all right so the next thing I wanted to just get a little temperature check so these are some common teenage years you could say that I'm hearing about and noticing lot with our kids at Revere so one is electronic so I'm getting this a lot from parents my child constantly wants to be on their phone they don't want to interact with us anymore but I take away the phone is a huge issue moodiness Buddhist machine frequently and quickly sometimes there's not even a trigger they're just upset with drawing there might be sending a lot more time in their bedroom last time socializing with the family and then also talking back and arguing so if anyone's comfortable sharing I think it would be helpful to see what difference behaviors parents are seeing or maybe all of them Caleb some people are all of them going number one the phone one for sure yep two and four of the moodiness talking back all of them yeah so a lot of these are very common teenage Behavior so that's kind of my goal today is to figure out what is like a common normal this is how teams are and then what are more of those red flag that you should be looking out for that hey maybe my kid need some additional support so that's going to be the first step that we're going to talk about and then the second part is how to help your child Thrive whether or not they're having a mental health issue what are coping tools and modeling that you can kind of have in your back pocket to help them be successful in to help him get through these difficult years then the end will be just how and when to get extra help and resources and then I'll open it up if anyone has any questions so generally a definition of mental health is our feelings I think emotion and everyone has mental health it's whether or not you have a mental health issue you can have good mental health or bad mental health it's just a normal thing that everyone has it's normal for your mental health to change during times positive mental health doesn't mean that you're always happy but it does mean that you feel empowered to talk about cope and overcome things that you encounter in life so having that positive mental health means you have that capability to cold sylvain stressors come your way and kids often times struggle with them especially if they haven't seen that or if they haven't had that model for that cooking tool do tattoo types of feelings everyday feelings are feelings that come and go there are normal reaction of what's happening in our lives for example your teenager might cry or yell at you when you take away their phone it's a feeling it's always changing and it doesn't linger for too long so they're normal everyday feeling however overwhelming feeling hang around for a long time change the way we feel and act and my Starbucks we want to do in life so for example this is when you're feeling if they figured if you're depressed I tell the kids all the time like you're not really depressed if you're having a bad day or feeling soccer have you been feeling sad constantly for months then it might be more of a deeper mental health issue that we need to figure out same thing with anxiety example for me I don't actually have diagnosed anxiety but I still feel anxious when I'm doing a presentation for example I get that nervous anxiety feeling well as my fiance for example has anxiety so he might have that feeling on a daily basis where even when not no Trigger or nothing is necessarily stressing him out like a presentation he is still feeling those feelings not is more of an overwhelming feeling that needs to be addressed so I would like to talk with anxiety because this is the number mental health issue is Deanna Rivera over the past two years has when a child is not outgrow fears and worries that are typical and children so you know when they're scared of monsters or things that are natural like someone breaking in the house or being separated from their parents but then when they're in middle school if they're still having these beers that are necessarily. It might be more of an actual mental anxiety diagnosis and the most important piece with anxiety is these fears and worries began to interfere with school home and social activities so it's not just that one off my feelings but it's really starting to interfere with their daily life next so this is generalized anxiety the most common type of anxiety on these are some of the most common symptoms excessive worry muscle aches or soreness and pure concentration irritability difficulty sleeping I want the headache on kids that are in the nursing there's actually no medical issue going on off in time that's related to anxiety how does generalized anxiety present in school a lot of times a lot of absences I have some really kids you just are not able to make it to school because of that anxiety is so severe maybe there are perfectionist to have these breakdowns if they guess they don't get an A on something maybe they avoid difficult tasks they're unwilling to participate I have some students that have really severe presentation anxiety so you noticed the day they have a presentation you know suddenly their stomach hurts their head hurts and they aren't able to go to class maybe they're withdraw learn from others teachers might think of them as I'm motivated or lazy because that might be how they're presenting in class because of the anxiety there's also an attention and so all of these are anxiety symptoms we can often see at school and depression this is the second most common mental health issues that I've seen at Revere so it's hard to determine what is that child than routine is because teenagers and middle-schoolers are typically more you know maybe less interested and things are just a little more sad but depression is really when they're sad and uninsured things that they used to enjoy when I feeling hopeless and it has to be persistent these feelings so it has to be for more than just a week more than just a day but really they're holding meaner has kind of changed and usually the way I can first title of a student might be depressed if they're withdrawing from not only their family which is kind of that normal teenager Behavior but also from their friends like of the students that I have the most oppressive like I'm not even responding to my friends anymore I don't want to go out after school I don't want to go to the Village we know they love going to the Village that's what it's kind of more concerning to me it when they're really isolating and not doing things that they get to enjoy it another thing to look at it regular activities like maybe they used to love a certain sport or a certain activities and now they have just no interest in doing that or anything else it is normal for them to want to change activities or maybe lose interest but if they're just not anything anymore than that is probably one of the deeper issue so here's are some of the symptoms and signs of depression definitely low self-esteem feeling hopeless suicidal thoughts for sure that's definitely the more extreme side of things they might have like a low affect and just always seem tired or sad that we made it here to Todd Sturgis staring definitely irritability but no just not typical teenage when they're irritable about specific triggers but just all the time for no reason social withdrawal like I said only if they have a decline in their self care of here in like if they're just not taking care of their hygiene anymore and then for appetite or overeating and then just over sleeping or not able to sleep at all and again similar to it can be those somatic symptoms such as changes in their weight loss of crying trouble focusing they're all things to look out for similar to anxiety as well I'm effects on their learning in school difficulty concentrating it can even impact their memory like if they're struggling to memorize things it can lead to tiredness rage lack of motivation strained relationship these again or all things to just keep your eye out for like I said some of you are typical teenage Behavior B what you're really looking for is Persistence of the symptoms and also impact on functioning so here's some specific behaviors that I think everyone should be looking out for if you are concerned about your child missing days in school or poor school performance it's normal for teenagers not to want to go to school and complaining in the morning they don't want to wake up the power struggle and no but symptoms have gotten so severe that they are literally not getting to school multiple days then. Maybe time to get some extra help in terms of maybe a therapist or reaching out to the school for help if they're avoiding there and their social life to me that his number one red flag for teenagers cuz that's typically what they want to be doing but losing interest or not having motivation and even fun activities is suddenly I want to go to the Village anymore I was do that to me it would be kind of a red flag sleeping way too much or not enough I had a student with depression tell me that over the three-day weekend East night she was sleeping more than 12 hours still felt tired that maybe something to try and notice how much is your child sleeping what do you chronically anxious or worried and then bouncing between mood so for example if there have like no energy one minute and then they're super hyperactive another minute that's definitely something to keep your eye on the penny a severe it is any actions of self-harm including cutting picking burning biting her pulling all of those should definitely be a red flag right away not only are they not coping healthily but almost always the student needs some sort of outside support if they're engaging in self-harm or if they're having suicidal thoughts just because we can't take any risks and we need to make sure that their safety is top priority irritable this one is where it's one of those gray areas teenagers are irritable but this is like a constant irritability like there's no point but they want to talk to you anything you say is bothering them you're not able to have a positive conversation. Maybe a deeper issue is there an engaging in any manic or receive a havior these are just some examples hopefully no car racing in middle school but dangerous girl seeking activities unsafe sexual activities which unfortunately does start to happen in the middle school at grade these are all things that still look out for and then this one is more severe but you want to be conscious at the what's happening if they are hearing some voices because this does start to happen in the Middle School level if there's an underlying mental health issue if they're hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there is definitely something that you would want to be assessed by there there doctor or therapist for professional and then this one is tough Logan taking drugs or drinking because this is unfortunately that he's really a lot of teenagers start to experiment with these things I don't want to say it's normal but to an extent it's normal for them to want to try these things but you really want to make sure you're having that open conversation with them to figure out like are they doing this to coat with some underlying thing how often how safe we don't want them doing it at all obviously but we have to our first priority should be to figure out why it's not engaging in this why are they in it might be an underlying mental health issue that they are trying to cope with so that's kind of the first part of the presentation about how to the signs and things to look for if it's a d mental health issue are there any questions before I move on to help you can help your child drive through this time if you want you can just type it in the chat if there's any question not Danny if there are just feel free to post them in the chart as we go and then I'll guess after the next election okay so let me know one second it's not letting me I know what happens okay the first piece of advice that I have okay so do you recommend letting teachers know about a diagnosis of OCD my daughter doesn't want me to okay I always think the more information you're willing to share with the stop the better because then teachers can I'm wearing handing it out what's going on more empathy if their child needs a break or if your child need to come to my office or a counselor's office I just think the more information the better I also understand if your daughter. feel comfortable with that now and I do always respect and empower the students make those decisions so maybe continuing to talk to your daughter about why this might be helpful and hopefully help me or come to that can and if she has a therapist talking to the therapist maybe the therapist can also talk to her about why this could be helpful to tell the teachers about it so thank you for that question I would give her the agency to make the decision but then need to try and talk to you about why I could be beneficial so I just wanted to get some basic sentence starters on this some of you are probably already doing this a lot of you but especially in families that might struggle today open with emotions are don't really talk about emotions cuz I definitely have students I'm supposed to say you know my family doesn't talk about this stuff like I can't talk to them about it so it's important to start these conversations now if you haven't already but if you're noticing mint call symptoms just covered in your child hear some ways you can start to talk about it I noticed for example your seeming really sad or you're in your room A lot of the time like what's going on tell me more about that I care about you it's not your fault you want to validate how they're feeling and normalize but it's not their fault and it's okay you deserve to feel better do you want to talk to someone else about your problems because normal middle schoolers don't want to talk to their parents nothing about that you did wrong sometimes they're just more comfortable talking to somebody outside of the family and you can express worry like showing them that you care and that you're noticing these things and that you are here to support them these are kind of the forest at 1 is what we discovered don't be afraid to ask them how they're feeling it won't make it worse if they're not used to it they might be on how do you can say that's okay as well make sure you're not minimizing how they're feeling oftentimes all here student so you know I tried to talk to my parents but they just said I'm being dramatic or anything I'm just making excuses which I understand as a parent sometimes we do feel like they're being dramatic and teenagers can be a bit dramatic at times I think we all know that but I'm minimizing it's really just shutting down the conversation not going to help them open up in the future so you really want to validate I believe you I know how that feels it's okay that you feel that way it's normal and then he also wants a model for yourself sharing field I know four in my family at least I almost never saw it at my parents why they always are you would like behind closed doors we really never saw that vulnerability according to share that you don't want to be burning your child be there not your therapist you don't need to go on and on about different structures that you're having but if you're having a tough day it's okay to let them know you know I'm not feeling good today maybe you can say I'm star model expressing your feelings to help them do that as well and then you should share what help you cope in times of stress and teach them so you know if you're not having a good day or you're overwhelmed it's okay to tell them that and say do you know what going to go for a walk right now or I'm going to listen to music children truly do learn from what you everyday and you all the parents are what they are and us at school or what they are seeing everyday I need to be able to model those things for example of how my stress balls help with my anxiety during the presentation I often times when I'm in the session with students also have the stress on offer them one all of those things can help them show that they're not alone let me know these things and show them how we as adults talk with you strong feelings the next thing I want to say is helping your child build a so this can be adjusted a verbal conversation that you have or it could be like a written list of schools or even you could go as far as I had a kid this week she had like a hole coping skills and tools to help her when she was feeling upset and overwhelmed like I think her parents literally bought her a little backpack to put these things in and I think that can be really helpful for kids so in this work at 1 I think you really need to focus on positive self-talk right now especially with kids that are having anxiety and they don't want to go to school or they don't want to go to class and hearing a lot of negative self-talk I can't do it I'm not able to do it I'm not going to do it if we have to educate the kids and ourselves about how like we are brain has so much power and if we're telling ourselves this thing yeah it's going to make it a law harder to do things that we need to do like go to class however we have the ability even if we don't believe it in the moment they get till you make it that's one of the things I learned growing up the ability to tell herself positive things so you could write out for them some little slips of paper I can do this I don't feel well I'm going to get through this I've gone through this before my parents love me anything that you think in that moment if they read it and might give them that little boost that they need to get that confident that she whatever they need to achieve the second piece of the toolkit that's is a longer-term attention but extremely important even for adults teaching kids that they have the ability to challenge their negative thoughts so kids and adults have a lot of negative thoughts some of the most common one day when students are having anxiety or depression or no one I just heard someone say something so some of us, non die here are for example like no one likes me I'm done I can't do anything right so what I slowly start to do as I asked questions and this is something you can do to I'm not going to end all of their feelings that's how they feel I'm not going to say that's not true Everyone likes you that's just not helpful in the moment but instead I'm going to ask him some questions to see if they can find evidence that goes against their own negative thought so for example if it's like no one likes me I have no friends I kind of slowly okay like I'm sorry you feel that way I must feel really lonely what about like your parents like you feel like they don't like you cuz you said no one likes you know they like me and you know there's my parents I just want to point out you know the freezer use that no one likes you evidence that some people like you what about me like you think I don't like you will know but you're a staff member and I kind of continued until I can get a little bit of something out of them like love you met and no friends at Revere that you like and usually why is it one kid in my math class so challenging cuz it there catastrophizing in there had like no one like me or anything so really helping them find their own evidence that goes against those thoughts in the future when they have that thought maybe they'll think to themselves like okay no maybe that's not all true maybe there's some evidence to go against that as adults we can model this is well you know me one of my automatic for presentation is like I'm too nervous I don't know what I'm talking about I'm all of those negative thoughts we have as adults but then I can challenge it with this is gone really successfully in the past when I've done this parents of always Justice little positive things we can chop and by Thoughts with two lesson or anxiety because the thoughts are really what leads to that anxiety feeling in the last piece in the toolkit would be coping skills I wrote down some three of my favorites for kids be breathing taking a walk or a break or drawing or coloring but there are hundreds if your child is struggling with coping skills I would really recommend Googling coping skills for teenagers there's list of hundreds and hundreds and helping them go through taking some that they are willing to try one common thing in appearing lately is like none of these are going to help me nothing's going to work I don't really out I'll let them say it but I don't really give them that option I say you know we all feel this way at times and I have to try things I wanted to figure out what works for you maybe nothing is work yet but we have hundreds here and you're going to have to try some to figure out what works because that's how we are successful in life is we have to problem solve and try that they might be uncomfortable to get so that's not an option for me is just saying nothing is going to work cuz there's no way they tried a hundred they will find out and especially taking a walk I've noticed nine times out of 10. 10. And lately I've been playing a lot of Uno and monticola with kids that often times you see their anxiety of media Vault to the floor there are things that work even when they don't think that there are modeling healthy habits for your kids so we touched on this a little bit with your coping skills and vulnerability but I also want to make sure parents are getting their own besides he's getting enough sleep and limiting their own screen time all the time schedule so you know my parents my parents are on their phone all night and trust me I'm guilty of it too I have it right next to me but we want to model those things spending quality time with the kids trying to limit screen time because like I said they are constantly learning from what they're watching so my modeling these things this is a healthy way to live and that's the way to help if they're having those mental health symptoms very basic but you'd be surprised how many kids come in and don't know a proper way to help calm everything down especially if they're having an anxiety attack so I often tell them and I would love if everyone if I want you behind your camera follow alone I saw them put your hand on your stomach to get a deep breath in through your nose read out and then I asked them when they took that breath and their stomach still up like a balloon or did it they were sucking in your stomach and then they really want to make sure they're filling their stomach with air to get that really calming breathing slow so breathing in feeling the stomach and then holding it in for 4 seconds and then and I have this been doing this a few times until they can feel their body physically calm down another thing that some of the kids enjoy is when I do this in my classroom presentations or assembly I will have them do like a competition like when they're releasing the air who can kind of release the loudest cuz I was for me at least when I really like let it out I'm sure have you been to a yoga class you know what the and when they like really let out the rest not really can help just got rid of that negative feeling those negative emotions and I you know I tell them you might not want to do that in class when it's quiet so you could always ask about the sign of really do that breathing really letting it up okay I just wanted to really emphasize this point normalizing and validating their feelings and not a neighbor this is kind of the tough love peace they can come in with parenting sometimes the normalizing and validating to use I think it's hard especially if you're frustrated and they're refusing to go to school they're refusing to leave the room it gets frustrating but we really want to make sure we're normalizing invalidating how they're feeling like trust me I get it you're tired like I have felt that too before I know everyone feels those things you want to continue to normalize and validate but then you also don't want to enable so one unhealthy parenting Potter and I have seen before is okay like I know you're I'm really sad and anxious to why don't we just stay home for today and then we'll see how you feel tomorrow they're doing this by enabling the heater that they want is not teaching them to be resilient it's not teaching them utilize our tryout coping skills to feel better and it's not helping the situation I'm 9 times out of 10 they're not going to want to go to the next day or so while we're normalizing we also need to push them and be like hey like I felt these things too but we have to push through these feelings and use our coping skills to get our business done like I I'll tell them unless I feel terrible before work and I don't want to go how to stop things happen when I'm feeling really anxious I can't just not go to work like I have to so you know survive in our society so usually I'll sell them for me I tried either go for a run or make something that I enjoy like tea in the morning I do things listen to music on the way and do things to try and call my body down so that I feel ready or even if I don't feel ready so that I'm able to push through and get through the day freezing them a lot for this so like if they're saying I can't do it I can't do it freezing them like remember yesterday when he felt this way and you still didn't answer sizing things they did well but not letting them just shut down and I'll do anything because they're feeling this way you're saying I know you feel this way I believe you I'm sorry but we're going to have to push through to get what we need to get done I just wanted to take a quick minute about how to deal with difficult Behavior because I have a lot of parents struggling with kids refusing to go to school or a big power saw goes with the phone usage has been a big one drug and alcohol use has been popping up here and there on and off campus so I wanted to point out when he's the heaters are happening although a lot of time with the first response is that anger in that punishment and I get it I know that's how a lot of us were raised or you might have been raised I really want to encourage you to see. stand that what's going on below the behavior and my fiance said I could share the story that happened with him when he was young he got in trouble for being and his parents automatically yelled at him grounded him and it took him years to even talk to them about that the reason he was drinking was because he was having severe anxiety symptoms and he was using it was the one thing that was helping him automatically feel real I and said that there were years that they didn't know that was happening because they're automatic response was that anger and not punishment which I get it he was doing something wrong and you don't want your kids drinking or using drugs but trying to and underlined can really help with our relationship fees and help change the behavior more effectively sometimes then just automatically yelling and anger is also taking time to calm yourself before responding when a child doing something difficult sometimes the automatic responses like you feel yourself getting angry and maybe even your negative self-talk is going on like I can't do this I'm about parent why are they acting like so I think the best thing to do in those situations when maybe your child yelling at you or they're slamming a door or maybe they're throwing things across the room the best thing for you to do in that time I would say is to remove yourself tea time to calm yourself down you can even model out for them like I see you're really upset right now I'm getting upset I'm going to go to the other room listen to some music and call myself. And then we can talk when we're both more, I hope will do the same and go in your room and help calm yourself down with music or push-ups or whatever you need and then we can talk when we're both were called there's just never was very rarely positive resolution when the parent and the child are cheated and it becomes a power struggle or a screaming match very really is learning coming from that very rarely is connection coming from that so I would say stepping away until you're calm and then having a conversation to try and understand the pain really what's going on with you like is everything okay this isn't normal for you or even if it is normal you know it's burning me that you're slamming your door are you feeling okay are you upset if there's something I can do to help you calm down call GreenDot support when you're in a column space and then it punishment is necessary I'm not trying to say never punish your kids I know it time that is necessary but that should be reasonable and have an MD at least the research that I follow says that he is your grounded forever are not very effective if anything it's just the child feeling kind of hopeless and yeah there's nothing to work for it so going is going to be give them room to earn back privileges for example if they miss you the phone maybe you're going to take away the phone. and have them spend time with the family for those 3 days so that they can show you that they're not going to be on the phone all the time things that are reasonable and make time and have an end those are my recommendation or punishment if it's necessary and then I wanted to just briefly touch on when to get additional help I know we covered a lot of this but definitely if there's any suicidal ideation self enduring behavior is there significant and repeated disruption in classroom if their behavior is interfering with their General life activities business times either reach out to the school or to reach out to the primary care physician or if I provider for mental health services I'm also happy to help with that with that process in my position because I work for the district I can't give direct referral for clinicians that I can help you through the process of finding a clinician which I know is that a big task in itself here's just some things you can say when you're talkin with a professional be there is some information you want to bring to them concerned because I heard my students say it's all my student to my student is feeling this is not that usual behavior and I seen the change within the last few days are we a specific as you can to remember when did this Behavior started was there a trigger to it or was it just out of nowhere how severe has it been has it been impacting their daily functioning are they missing you want to school these are all things that you want to bring professional when you're seeking Mental Health Services or support and then knowing your options at school you have the teachers like I said I do recommend filling them in as much as possible take me to we have three academic counselor if you are awesome and one for each grade level all of their information on the website they can help with all things scheduling teacher conflict pure conflict pure me. General social emotional skills and then when is more severe is when it usually gets preferred to me like if it's not deep or mental health issue that's impacting their functioning that's when it's usually referred to me we also have a school climate Advocate if you have any ideas for like school-wide events to promote Health and Wellness and then outside support is always an option on this therapy individual therapy and group support like I said I'm happy to help and those options Psychiatry is also an option I know people have different opinions and strong opinions about medication with children and maybe adult but I always like to just say it's an option you can always get your child assessed and figure out the options you never have to say yes you're never required to medicate your child sometimes it's just good to know what's out there and then neither just on my more resources the contact is one that I use a lot with middle schoolers it has a lot of meditations on there one for sleeping on Spring xiety very specific I can search I'm staying with had to use both apps on the phone and then YouTube has so many great resources meditation guided visualization progressive muscle relaxation all of those of you they're set up on YouTube very helpful and then see out the LAUSD student Family Wellness hotline this is something you can call if you need help with mental health support immunization student housing enrollment this is just a general hotline that you can reach out to you for support if you need it and it's listed right there the number and the times available Okay so. wrapped up my portion of if anyone has any questions please feel free to put them in the shop if not I see someone put enough insight timer for meditation awesome thank you you're free to head out if you don't want to stick around for questions but I will start to redo the questions let me see there's one question and if they aren't ready to come to school until noon or later is it worthwhile to get them there even if they miss most of the day yes definitely because with with more severe mental health symptoms any progress is good progress so when they're not coming to school at all it's more of a mental battle to even get them to school so even if you can get them to school and then have them like we can have them sit in one of our offices for 30 minutes and then walked into class really any time that we can get them to be at school and in class is worth it the answer is yes it's worth it because the best way to get over those symptoms it's just slowly chip away at whatever educational impact that the symptoms are having thank you for that question it says he's very engaged and lots of friends but we worry about drugs at parties excetera not Mental Health peer pressure what do you say about it I think the best thing you can do is just educate your child about that and having open conversation so letting them know what they might start seeing a let them know how hurtful these things can be to their own health and their functioning in middle school and Beyond you can even give some examples that maybe people that you know this is really hurt them or cause not a great path and then also educating them on tip for how to avoid pure pressure in particular, there's many different strategies but you know some students may prefer to give a little FIB if they want I'm which I found at active for students who are surrounded by a lot of like beeping and things it's like oh I can't my parents drug test me even if that's not true it's like easy out like no one's probably going to question you were trying to pressure you if you know your parents are drug testing you another thing you can say if they feel confident just no thank you I'm not interested but with your pressure sometimes. Plus effective for kids we're just having that open conversation with them about the risks and that they don't have to do it and giving them tools for things I can say like that to get out of those peer-pressure situation there any other questions oh I see someone have a suggestion limiting the time with the iPhone. And child and having meals together as a family has been very at home I recently had a student whose parent whose parents took away their phone I got in trouble and they said like I notice my child been a lot nicer since they got their phone taken away so I think I know that songs we can't we're kind of in a place in society right now or that kind of thing Norm unfortunately but I think limiting it is so important for there so thank you for that how's everything I can see Tyler to see I mean can you speak on how common anxiety disorder all right now is always think they are alone yes since covid I can't remember the statistic but it is like anxiety has by so much so many kids and adults are struggling with anxiety right now there's different types of anxiety there is no social anxiety where they really feel it when they have to be in social situations there is panic disorder where there for whatever reason just having panic attacks there's generalized anxiety we're not necessarily A trigger they just feel anxious most of the time I always tell them first and foremost but they are not alone I usually tell them like I have so many kids sitting in my office every day that are feeling this way you're not alone but however everyone has the ability to overcome anxiety and that's when I go into the coping skills and not enabling the anxiety to take over so normalizing validating so important and then also encouraging them that they can get through this and we will help them get through this and then fighting those coping skills and tools to help them get through it thank you, I appreciate that my younger was home during sixth grade now in eighth grade doesn't go out like my older than when he was that age he's super social bullying on soccer tournaments but home a lot on weekend should we start navigating I mean it really depends if there's other things that you're noticing it. It might just be a little bit more of an introvert and he's still socializing at school and it tournament so I would say it's not necessarily a red flag to me however if you're noticing other symptoms on top of that are kind of concerning like does he seem like he's isolating in his room a lot or is he just like you know he's just tired all of his activities and would rather chill on the weekend it really was a pen that I would need more information but that in itself is not necessarily a huge read to me do the group hasn't got there like older than yeah it's probably more of like at age age thing like at the friend group isn't doing it another thing you can always do is start to encourage that if you're feeling like they might benefit from more socializing on the weekends like hey do you want to invite your friend over or do you want me to pick up one of your friends and I drop you guys off if you're comfortable with that horse at the village you can always encourage. But if a lot of the friends aren't doing it then it seems more like it might just be the norm for that for a room problem stop shivering any suggestions I was sleeping at night so I'm wearing my daughter said she's barely slept the night has trouble getting it she's not on the screen I was going to be my first suggestion make sure that the screens are away at least an hour before bed and then I also tell them they shouldn't be doing anything really an hour before bed I know they have homework I get it but an hour before bed really should be prioritized for relaxing making like a bedtime routine like okay starting at 8 if you're putting your screen away you're not doing any more homework or taking a shower maybe having some tea listening to call me music maybe a meditation all of those would be my suggestion. to help them with that I also have noticed that kids are a lot more likely to fall asleep when they're getting some sort of exercise which I know can be hard to convince them to do the same thing for me when I go exercise I'm way more tired I sleep better so I could size is a huge one with that and maybe you can sneak it in there if they're not open to it you can say you know we're going for a family walk no screen to say any of those things to try would be a good place to start thank you Carrie alright well thank you everyone if anyone has a direct question for me I'm about your in particular feel free to email me my email was posted but I'll put it in the shop. It's just Anna. Riley at lausd.net I have some direct messages from parents so if you email me that might be better if it's like more of a personal situation and I'm not sure if you wanted me to respond everyone okay another question how do you talk to your child about being made fun of for being in Special Ed thank you for that question first of all I'm sorry that that's happening I try to empower them with their options I say like you know option one if you want to you first of all validating and normalizing but that's a crappy and that's not okay and that they are totally they're totally okay I don't use the word normal cuz everyone's there but they're totally okay with being in special education nothing about like their ability that character is just everyone learning in a different way so validating not but then also giving them their options like they should not have to experience that so there's always the option of reporting it's a student services they can do in a application talk to the other students were making fun of them get the behavior to stop we do not tolerate any bullying at Paul Revere if they don't want to do that and they're like it's going to make it worse they can always do you like the ignoring approach of like I'm going to walk away and maybe come and talk to Miss Riley me or one of the counselors till I process what happened I don't love that because I don't think they should have to continue or they can you know stand up for themselves and have a friend maybe that they can buddy with walk around the halls with that they can have helped stand up for them as well I like to give them his options and 11 shoes what their most durable wood that definitely shouldn't be happening so if that is please please let us know so we can address it accordingly and then I saw another one okay how to convince my 8th grader that's 14 years old that is not good to try it first kiss or dating also she thinks I'm so strict they don't have never let her sleep over so this is kind of more of a personal preference I think you know some parents are maybe more comfortable with their kids exploring dating sexuality in middle school years some parents aren't so I don't know how to answer I don't really have like a general answer to this question I'm just because I think that parents do have different views of this yeah I don't I don't know I don't really have it a good answer to that I'm sorry don't think you are boys at risk I'm not sure which ever is for what you could clarify that question a little bit I got a direct message for mental health issues if that's what the question was then definitely yes yes 100 times over boys and girls any gender is equally you know able to experience mental health issues I will say boys because of spy alarms boys tend to be vocal about it it from my experience but that doesn't mean that the symptoms and the feelings are there and I really hope that we're encouraging our boys and our girls and all genders were encouraging everyone to express how they feel and talk to us about how they're feeling hey well it's okay I'll do the oh, and then if you have any more you can feel free to email me I just wanted to address this my son's afraid to go to the bathroom at the time because he's in special education and he said some kids make fun of him and he's afraid to tell anyone at school about it please please please encourage your son if he's not comfortable you know going to soon Services you can come to me I'm confidential so anything's Dunes talk to me about I don't have to report it to Student Services I leave it up to I have we have a bathroom in our office that we can let your child use we like children who are not comfortable using the bathrooms are at our experiences we let them use our bathroom and happy to be the ones that facility that please encourage your child to come find me my office is in student services and I can definitely help with that because we have other children who are also uncomfortable with the bathroom okay let's see how do you help your child enjoy School my son he's anything I could do to make you lost the social aspect though you know. I don't really have a great answer for that I think some kids are more. just an academic topics and others aren't hopefully the teachers are you know can give us sign mints that they might have some choice to do topics and maybe your son's more interested in but I am glad that he loves the social facts about getting into school and sometimes for kids who aren't interested it really is just you know if we explain to them the importance of school and why even if they aren't enjoying it why this is going to help him out in the long run but I'm sorry I don't have great a great answer for enjoying school thank you okay everyone I really appreciate your time and feel free to email me like I said with any other question and then we can go from there but take care and I look forward to continuing to support your kids thank you

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